BEAUMONT, Texas — A Fannett man fatally shot after police say he kicked in the door of his ex-girlfriend’s home was no stranger to domestic violence.

While deputies haven't said if domestic violence was a factor in this case, Buck Aubey, 46, had multiple prior domestic violence related charges found via a search of public records on

His offenses include assault cases bodily injury to a family member in 1998, 2009, and 2010, and assault family violence in 2000 and 2002. Aubey was set to be arraigned in Jefferson County Tuesday for assault family violence, and terroristic threat family violence charges.

Domestic violence is a cycle, and it can happen to any family regardless of race, color, and socioeconomic status according to Rita Drake of the Spindletop Center.

Drake is the clinical supervisor of crisis and intake at the center.

In these types of cases it's important to get help before things escalate because If nothing is done, domestic violence often worsens and could end in death according to Drake.

RELATED: Fannett man fatally shot after kicking in door at ex-girlfriend's home had prior record of domestic violence

"If nothing's done, it just escalates, can end up in suicide, can end up in homicide or both at the same time, it's a silent killer," she told 12News.

GET HELP | Spindletop Crisis Hotline: 800-937-8097
Family Services of Southeast Texas: 409-833-2668
Samaritan Counseling Center: 409-727-6400

Often victims don't speak up because they fear the consequences for their partner she said.

Victims sometimes minimize the abuse to arguments and this can lead to depression, feelings of unworthiness, and suicidal thoughts Drake says.

Neighbors often see the signs of domestic abuse, and call authorities about yelling and screaming arguments. One or both people involved can exhibit bruises, as well as signs of depression she says.

"It's hoped that a family member is close enough to see what's happening and step in and say, 'I love you, we need you, please get help for those problems going on," Drake said.

One in four women and one in seven men have been victims of severe physical violence by a partner according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500% they say.

For those who take that step and get help, there is hope to be found, and the cycle can be broken Drake says.

"When they do stand up and they do have the strength to become that survivor they save both their lives and possibly the life of the perpetrator because that cycle is stopped," Drake said.

In fact, Drake is living proof that change can happen. Her family had verbal and some physical abuse. Her parents were married for 52 years, and the abuse continued.

Drake ended up getting into her field because she wanted to stop the cycle.

"The kids in the family all went to the helping field, because we didn't want to see that in our own families, and we wanted to stop it in others," she said.

Over the course of her 31-year career, she's seen many miracles come out of the families she's worked with.

"It does happen, people can even, in their couples, become supportive of each other, take care of their individual problems, but also each individual needs to understand their worth, and that they never have to be anyone's punching bag, doormat, and to celebrate their own strengths," Drake said.

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